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| Jokes
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The following list of phrases and their definitions might
help you understand the mysterious language of science and medicine.
These special phrases are also applicable to anyone reading
a Ph.D. dissertation or academic paper.
"IT HAS LONG BEEN KNOWN"... I didn't look up the original reference.
"A DEFINITE TREND IS EVIDENT"... These data are practically meaningless.
"WHILE IT HAS NOT BEEN POSSIBLE TO PROVIDE DEFINITE ANSWERS TO THESE
QUESTIONS"... An unsuccessful experiment, but I still hope to get it
published.
"THREE OF THE SAMPLES WERE CHOSEN FOR DETAILED STUDY"... The other results
didn't make any sense.
"TYPICAL RESULTS ARE SHOWN"... This is the prettiest graph.
"THESE RESULTS WILL BE IN A SUBSEQUENT REPORT"... I might get around to this
sometime, if pushed/funded.
"IN MY EXPERIENCE"... Once.
"IN CASE AFTER CASE"... Twice.
"IN A SERIES OF CASES"... Thrice.
"IT IS BELIEVED THAT"... I think.
"IT IS GENERALLY BELIEVED THAT"... A couple of others think so, too.
"CORRECT WITHIN AN ORDER OF MAGNITUDE"... Wrong.
"ACCORDING TO STATISTICAL ANALYSIS"... Rumor has it.
"A statistically oriented PROJECTION OF THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THESE FINDINGS"...
A wild guess.
"A CAREFUL ANALYSIS OF OBTAINABLE DATA"... Three pages of notes were
obliterated when I knocked over a glass of beer.
"IT IS CLEAR THAT MUCH ADDITIONAL WORK WILL BE REQUIRED BEFORE A COMPLETE
UNDERSTANDING OF THIS PHENOMENON OCCURS"... I don't understand it.
"AFTER ADDITIONAL STUDY BY MY COLLEAGUES"... They don't understand it either.
"THANKS ARE DUE TO JOE BLOTZ FOR ASSISTANCE WITH THE EXPERIMENT AND TO CINDY
ADAMS FOR VALUABLE DISCUSSIONS"... Mr. Blotz did the work and Ms. Adams
explained to me what it meant.
"A HIGHLY SIGNIFICANT AREA FOR EXPLORATORY STUDY"... A totally useless topic
selected by my committee.
"IT IS HOPED THAT THIS STUDY WILL STIMULATE FURTHER INVESTIGATION IN THIS
FIELD"... I quit.
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