Being born in the great state of Tennessee, I have a LOT of rednecks in my family. And WHO better to tell you if you 'might be a redneck' than Jeff Foxworthy!
| bathroom. wav - If Going To The Bathroom ... | fish.wav - If You've Ever Been ... |
| beltbuckle.wav - If Someone Asks To See Your ID ... | spitcup.wav - If Your Mother Keeps... |
| yardsale.wav - If Everyday Somebody Comes ... | treefork.wav - If you family tree.... |
| crack.wav - IF You See A Sign That Says... | ownhome.wav - If You Own A Home ... |
| wifesays.wav - If your wife says ... | nutcrack.wav - If you think a ... |
| lawn.wav - If your lawn furniture... | cutgrass.wav - If you cut your grass and... |
| haulcan.wav - If you've had to haul a can of paint.. | sensous.wav - Current favorite southern word... |
| meetwomen.wav - If you go to the family reunion..... | buggzap.wav - If you think a bug zapper and a six pack..... |
| hollers.wav - If someone hollers 'HOE DOWN" and.... | dogchain.wav - If your dog and your wallet.... |
| reunion.wav - If you go to a family reunion........ | married.wav - If you've been married three times....... |
| poarch.wav - If your front poarch.... | teeth.wav - If you've lost more than.... |
| finger.wav - If your father executes the... | tooth.wav - If you've ever been accused of... |
| waffle.wav - If you own a credit card... | marlboro.wav - If your mother doesn't.... |
| bigolmoon.wav - Hell, when I was in high school... | sleepsex.wav - OH...HOW TRUE!!!!! LOL |
Things You'll Never
Hear a Redneck Say:
| We don't keep firearms in this house. | Has anybody seen the sideburn trimmer? |
| You can't feed that to the dog. | I thought Graceland was tacky. |
| No kids in the back of the pick-up, it's not safe. | Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace? |
| Do you think my hair is too big? | Honey, these bonsai trees need watering? |
| Who's Richard Petty? | Give me the small bag of pork rinds. |
| Deer heads detract from the decor. | I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today. |
| Spitting is such a nasty habit. | Trim the fat off that steak. |
| The tires on that truck are too big. | My fiancee, Paula Jo, is registered at Tiffany's. |
| Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla. | Elvis who? |
| Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side. | Checkmate. |
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